24 Days To Go

So I have to admit that I am writing this post simply out of force because I feel like I need to update. In which case, please excuse and sarcasm or dumb jokes.

We got home from Alabama last night and I had been anticipating getting home all day. As it turns out, we had to spend the night at Mimi's because it was apparently too late to go home at 9:00. I was majorly bummed to say the least. Needless to say, I was happy to walk in the front door. I suppose it's somewhat ironic that I didn't want to leave Alabama, and I would still be there if I could. Sort of a bittersweet home-coming.

I think for a while now, I've been craving a new adventure. Again, kind-of ironic that I just got back from Alabama.... but something new. Something....I've never done before. I suppose part of it is that I'm ready to get out of Brevard period....I don't really care to be here any more, which is weird for me because I've always loved Brevard. I just am starting to feel like there's nothing here for me. Not much I can do about it, I know, but I can't help but feel like I'm ready to get out. I don't know if that makes much sense.

Anyhow, its been a pretty good day. I'm rather enjoying the last little bit of summer before school starts (at some point). I had a coffee date with Elizabeth tonight and it was wonderful to catch up with her a bit and spend some time with her. I'm working on getting together with friends as much as possible before school starts, but my load is much lighter this year than it was last year, so by no means is school going to stop me from seeing them. It just seems right to spend the last few days of summer with the people I love.

I've been thinking a lot about God's timing lately. I guess a minor example was with Alabama.... I didn't think I'd be able to leave, but the time came and I was at peace. When you live in the Kingdom its funny how God's timing most always seems about right. Maybe not completely comfortable, but there's this strange peace about it. Another example would be Guatemala. I never wanted to leave those precious people, but when we had to leave, I felt peace about it. I prayed the whole time I was there.... God, don't let me leave here with unsettled business or while I still feel like I need to stay. And when I boarded the bus for Guatemala City, I felt a strange peace about leaving. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't comfortable nor did I want to leave. But it was right. I suppose the most recent thing on this topic has been school. Right after camp had ended (potentially the worst few days of my year) I didn't see a possible way for me to go back to school anytime remotely soon and be okay. I've had time to process and grow even stronger.... and you know what? I even feel like I'm ready now..there's peace and I'm okay with it. That rarely ever happens for me. And I will be even more prepared when we start.

School hasn't ever been terribly exciting for me. I've had to push myself to stay motivated and somewhat entertained by it. My freshman year, I took it too lightly and didn't really care. Last year, my sophomore year, I was at the other end of the spectrum.... I decided that I was too carefree about school and I had to tighten up. It was too much, I truthfully pushed myself too hard. This year, while I'm still not terribly excited, I'm looking at it from a different standpoint. Its where God has me right now for a reason. He won't give me anything I can't handle, and that includes high school :) even my junior year is Kingdom business. Since I'm not the most motivated person, I just keep telling myself that if I don't do it, it is a limitation. If I get through high school with excellence, I can go more places and accomplish more in the Kingdom. That may sound dumb, but its absolutely true.

One more thing about today :) I've been thinking about something that Brian Johnson talked about a little bit. Being discontent. I've had it on my back burner for a while that I'm just not satisfied quite yet....I guess like I'm still trying to get comfortable. I don't know if that makes any sense, but it was sort of brought out this week. I'm not unhappy or seriously about to lose it... I'm just not quite satisfied with it. And I think some of that goes back to the whole Brevard thing. I've come a long way this year, especially over the summer. But I'm still working on a lot- one of those things is trying to find a place "to land"...I guess a sense of balance in my life between school, family, friends, church, clogging....and putting Jesus in the center. I think that I'm not the only person on the planet that struggles with this... you see it all the time. People get too wrapped up in their ministry, job, materialism, school, themselves....it's hard to find that balance between it all and yet keep God in the middle of everything that goes on. I think that this is an opportune time in my life to figure out my priorities- with school starting back soon and clogging too.

Anyway, thats been my thoughts mostly for today. I regretably haven't been in the word much for a while....I didn't have my bible for a week (I just got it back today), so I'm sorry for the lack of word study posts.

Have a great evening.

Abby