Now that Christmas Break is here I have found some time to update! I have no excuse now I suppose.
Christmas this year will be different in many ways, and I am excited about doing something a little...out of the ordinary. We are shooting some skeet and having tapas instead of a big meal. And we're opening presents at night. I love changing things around and killing holiday sacred cows.
It is really interesting how much your life changes when you put Jesus as the central man. With 8 classes and school taking over my time....it has been so easy to put him to the side....but it is when you get desperate for him again that you realize how much you need him. I guess you could say I became a little mediocre. And life is so much more peaceful when you have him whispering "I love you" or "Wait! don't say that." and it is amazing how he saturates every area of your life when you really make him the center of your attention. Areas I never really connected two and two in....like clogging....I've been understanding so much more and getting so much better. Or sleeping.... I've been sleeping like a rock since I've spent more time with him.
I've been learning a hard lesson through this, too. Let God's plan for your life fall in place and don't push it, rush it, or try to make it happen. Just let him tell you where to go next and let him move you into a new season. It isn't worth pushing it...you'll stress yourself out and get all frustrated. Can you tell where I've been the last few weeks? :)
Ok. Well I think that is it for now.
abby
Saturday, December 20, 2008
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Aficionado
The sheer activity of the weekend have left me tired as a result of memories made and fun times to be remembered. Thanksgiving week has been a great time for me to just unwind and sleep the necessary amount of hours, as I haven't the last few months. I hope my rest will pay off as the coming week will require much energy and brain power. Oh well.
I suppose my thoughts the last few days have not been deep whatsoever, but rather focusing on the action of the now and trying desperately to keep up. Nothing terribly interesting at all, I'm afraid. It was nice this morning to have the time to just sit and soak in something worth listening to....Pastor Judy. Though I must admit I wasn't paying seriously close attention, it was just refreshing to be there and let her words enter my head. I wish I had brought my Jesus notebook this morning, I should have taken notes.
Well, the good news is that I will no longer have every mother on planet earth bugging me about wrapping up anymore. I don't ever wear long sleeves, I find it more convenient to wear short sleeves and then wear sweatshirts and stuff. I also consider flip-flops yearround shoes and wear them admittedly in the snow sometimes. Well, my dear grandmother just couldn't stand it any longer and made me pick out "at least some sweaters to wear over your short sleeves" and so I did and I am rather pleased with my selection. Hello winter clothing.
Well, my dear furry friend is just as happy as....well, a hamster and is enjoying not being in an awful cage at a dreary pet store with two bratty females anymore. I do believe he is enjoying his time to himself (as do all Syrian Hamsters) and is glad to be a bachelor. I can't blame him.... those females were just whine-y and annoying.
Is there anything else I need to update you on? I'm sure you've noticed by now that my post is going downhill at a rather rapid pace, and so I am going to wrap up and force your poor minds off of my tired writing. I think I will go get some hot chocolate and wrap up in bed with my new book "The God Who is There" by Francis Schaeffer (the man is a genius). It is for school, but don't ya know that when you don't have time for leisurely reading (which is a rather depressing feeling), God uses what we must read for school to teach us what we need to know at certain times in our lives....
More later, my dear readers,
abby
PS
the title was the word for the day and it is rather fun to say. i'm not going to tell you what it means. go look it up if its bugging you :)
I suppose my thoughts the last few days have not been deep whatsoever, but rather focusing on the action of the now and trying desperately to keep up. Nothing terribly interesting at all, I'm afraid. It was nice this morning to have the time to just sit and soak in something worth listening to....Pastor Judy. Though I must admit I wasn't paying seriously close attention, it was just refreshing to be there and let her words enter my head. I wish I had brought my Jesus notebook this morning, I should have taken notes.
Well, the good news is that I will no longer have every mother on planet earth bugging me about wrapping up anymore. I don't ever wear long sleeves, I find it more convenient to wear short sleeves and then wear sweatshirts and stuff. I also consider flip-flops yearround shoes and wear them admittedly in the snow sometimes. Well, my dear grandmother just couldn't stand it any longer and made me pick out "at least some sweaters to wear over your short sleeves" and so I did and I am rather pleased with my selection. Hello winter clothing.
Well, my dear furry friend is just as happy as....well, a hamster and is enjoying not being in an awful cage at a dreary pet store with two bratty females anymore. I do believe he is enjoying his time to himself (as do all Syrian Hamsters) and is glad to be a bachelor. I can't blame him.... those females were just whine-y and annoying.
Is there anything else I need to update you on? I'm sure you've noticed by now that my post is going downhill at a rather rapid pace, and so I am going to wrap up and force your poor minds off of my tired writing. I think I will go get some hot chocolate and wrap up in bed with my new book "The God Who is There" by Francis Schaeffer (the man is a genius). It is for school, but don't ya know that when you don't have time for leisurely reading (which is a rather depressing feeling), God uses what we must read for school to teach us what we need to know at certain times in our lives....
More later, my dear readers,
abby
PS
the title was the word for the day and it is rather fun to say. i'm not going to tell you what it means. go look it up if its bugging you :)
Monday, November 24, 2008
Dream Like a Child
Today was the last day of Dayspring until early December and my homework is barely enough for the two weeks I have off. I've been thinking about so many different things today that I don't even know what my initial thoughts were this morning, except for my generic Monday morning thoughts. I do wish that I was with Abbie Buckman tonight, as family night has been rather lame and excruciatingly (and unfortunately) boring. School was good today, though, and I am looking forward to my first time sleeping in tomorrow morning since school started...7:30 or earlier has been my fate every other morning.
I suppose one constant thought today has been to think like a child again...to enjoy every moment of sheer innocence that you can find. Dream like a child every chance that you get, because God puts desires in our hearts for a reason. Be bold like a child- don't be afraid to dance in the rain or lay in the grass and look at the clouds. And most of all forgive like a child. Don't be afraid to let go. Remember when you were little and you would get angry, but the next morning (or in some cases, 10 minutes later) its like it never happened? Don't be afraid to let go...even if its embarassing and puts a little humility on your ego. It's ok to forgive people...and even be wrong sometimes (did I just go there?).
I guess a big one for me has been the whole forgive and be wrong one- I hate being wrong. And when I am, I do everything I can to hide that fact. But sometimes you just have to break down and be wrong- and the hardest part is saying "ok, I'm wrong and I'm sorry." But relationships are so much more important than being right, and its not worth a friendship, or even putting a dent in a relationship, in order to be right. There's a big difference between being right and being righteous.
Like I said earlier, random thoughts...bear with me. Colossians 2:6-7: So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live in him, rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness.
I love this- its so much more than just recieving Christ and quite honestly having a relationship with him- it goes deeper than that. Freaking LIVE in him- like, everything. Isn't that a cool concept? Every moment. Every dish you load, word you speak, text you send....the whole nine yards. When I think of living in him, I don't think of all the things I "can't" do. I tend to think about all the things I get to do...I get some freakin awesome opportunities that no one else gets. I get to see visions and angels. I get to worship, and laugh. I have somewhere to go that listens and lets me cry. I have someone to play with when everyone else is busy....I have whatever I need. He IS whatever, or whoever I need him to be. If I need a father, he's all mine. If I need authority, I have it. If I need comfort...he's the best.
Next part: be rooted. I think of what everyone else thinks of when I hear this. A tree. But you know what I found out when I was researching Colossians 2:7? Almost every book of the bible has something to say about a tree. They are an important example, even if they seem like an automatic answer and overused. You know what else is cool? Proverbs says this- a life filled with righteousness is a fruit-bearing tree. (that goes back to righteousness. Maybe this stuff isn't so random!) A fruit bearing tree? Yep. So we live in him, we root in him, and we all become trees. And you know what? I did some research- and the majority of fruit trees (apple, pear, oranges...etc. make 144,000 pieces of fruit in their lifetime. Uh huh. Like I said, we're fruit trees :)
Strengthened in faith as you were taught (or we "know our way around" faith). We've been there, done that. When Paul wrote this letter to the Colossians, he knew that he was writing to a church that was already strong in faith, and in other words, he didn't need to start from scratch as he did with some other churches he wrote to. These people weren't baby believers, they knew what they were doing. His goal in this letter was to build up these mature believers, and to respond to a threat to the church at Colossae. So, I think that was his main purpose in this part of the scripture. Paul is one of my favorite people :)
"And overflow with thankfulness." I don't know about you, but I can't hear the word "thankfulness" without thinking about second grade sunday school when the answer to every question was "jesus" or "the devil", we went around the room saying what we were "thankful" for at thanksgiving time, and we made turkeys out of construction paper. And that bugs me. So thankful according to Merriam Webster: a consciousness of a benefit recieved, expressive of thanks, or well pleased (sorry, that helps get the picture out of my head.)
Thankfulness is something that we all hear about, all the time (especially at this time of year), and quite honestly is something I am not. I get so sick of thankfulness being cheesy arts and crafts projects, simple words that we utter around the room, and advertisements for Turkey Day. I'm ready for it to be a heart issue. I just finished a speech for my speech and debate class about how Americans take so much for granted, and how we can change that...it is a serious thing for me. And its something I need to work on. If we can't learn how to be happy with what we have, where we are, then how do we ever expect to be happy? Thankfulness isn't all about being happy, but its about being satisfied- happiness usually comes as a side-effect.
Hmmm...ok, well I think I have pretty much worn this entry out on Colossians. I hope you all have gotten SOMETHING out of my scattered-brainness of today. Everyone have a wonderful Thanksgiving if I don't update before then, and remember to take thankfulness to heart. (isn't it ironic that God handed me that scripture at Thanksgiving time? Huh, I hadn't even thought about that. Sweet.)
Abby
I suppose one constant thought today has been to think like a child again...to enjoy every moment of sheer innocence that you can find. Dream like a child every chance that you get, because God puts desires in our hearts for a reason. Be bold like a child- don't be afraid to dance in the rain or lay in the grass and look at the clouds. And most of all forgive like a child. Don't be afraid to let go. Remember when you were little and you would get angry, but the next morning (or in some cases, 10 minutes later) its like it never happened? Don't be afraid to let go...even if its embarassing and puts a little humility on your ego. It's ok to forgive people...and even be wrong sometimes (did I just go there?).
I guess a big one for me has been the whole forgive and be wrong one- I hate being wrong. And when I am, I do everything I can to hide that fact. But sometimes you just have to break down and be wrong- and the hardest part is saying "ok, I'm wrong and I'm sorry." But relationships are so much more important than being right, and its not worth a friendship, or even putting a dent in a relationship, in order to be right. There's a big difference between being right and being righteous.
Like I said earlier, random thoughts...bear with me. Colossians 2:6-7: So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live in him, rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness.
I love this- its so much more than just recieving Christ and quite honestly having a relationship with him- it goes deeper than that. Freaking LIVE in him- like, everything. Isn't that a cool concept? Every moment. Every dish you load, word you speak, text you send....the whole nine yards. When I think of living in him, I don't think of all the things I "can't" do. I tend to think about all the things I get to do...I get some freakin awesome opportunities that no one else gets. I get to see visions and angels. I get to worship, and laugh. I have somewhere to go that listens and lets me cry. I have someone to play with when everyone else is busy....I have whatever I need. He IS whatever, or whoever I need him to be. If I need a father, he's all mine. If I need authority, I have it. If I need comfort...he's the best.
Next part: be rooted. I think of what everyone else thinks of when I hear this. A tree. But you know what I found out when I was researching Colossians 2:7? Almost every book of the bible has something to say about a tree. They are an important example, even if they seem like an automatic answer and overused. You know what else is cool? Proverbs says this- a life filled with righteousness is a fruit-bearing tree. (that goes back to righteousness. Maybe this stuff isn't so random!) A fruit bearing tree? Yep. So we live in him, we root in him, and we all become trees. And you know what? I did some research- and the majority of fruit trees (apple, pear, oranges...etc. make 144,000 pieces of fruit in their lifetime. Uh huh. Like I said, we're fruit trees :)
Strengthened in faith as you were taught (or we "know our way around" faith). We've been there, done that. When Paul wrote this letter to the Colossians, he knew that he was writing to a church that was already strong in faith, and in other words, he didn't need to start from scratch as he did with some other churches he wrote to. These people weren't baby believers, they knew what they were doing. His goal in this letter was to build up these mature believers, and to respond to a threat to the church at Colossae. So, I think that was his main purpose in this part of the scripture. Paul is one of my favorite people :)
"And overflow with thankfulness." I don't know about you, but I can't hear the word "thankfulness" without thinking about second grade sunday school when the answer to every question was "jesus" or "the devil", we went around the room saying what we were "thankful" for at thanksgiving time, and we made turkeys out of construction paper. And that bugs me. So thankful according to Merriam Webster: a consciousness of a benefit recieved, expressive of thanks, or well pleased (sorry, that helps get the picture out of my head.)
Thankfulness is something that we all hear about, all the time (especially at this time of year), and quite honestly is something I am not. I get so sick of thankfulness being cheesy arts and crafts projects, simple words that we utter around the room, and advertisements for Turkey Day. I'm ready for it to be a heart issue. I just finished a speech for my speech and debate class about how Americans take so much for granted, and how we can change that...it is a serious thing for me. And its something I need to work on. If we can't learn how to be happy with what we have, where we are, then how do we ever expect to be happy? Thankfulness isn't all about being happy, but its about being satisfied- happiness usually comes as a side-effect.
Hmmm...ok, well I think I have pretty much worn this entry out on Colossians. I hope you all have gotten SOMETHING out of my scattered-brainness of today. Everyone have a wonderful Thanksgiving if I don't update before then, and remember to take thankfulness to heart. (isn't it ironic that God handed me that scripture at Thanksgiving time? Huh, I hadn't even thought about that. Sweet.)
Abby
Sunday, November 23, 2008
My Deepest Appologies
hello readers. I would like to start with an appoloy to you for the lack of posts. My only logical excuse this week is that my midterm projects are due tomorrow and the stress and hard work have kept me on my toes.
As many of you know, I have a new friend by the name of Salem Oliver Coleman St. Marie, though sometimes my new furry friend is referred to by the name of Sir Salem or Mr. Oliver. He is a Syrian Hamster that lives in my office and keeps me company while a work away at my homework. He makes a lovely companion.
Life has been ok. Nothing terrible, just the normal stress, zero sleep, and unwanted life curveballs. It builds character and makes you stronger, and I look back at times that I have been stressed and I can honestly thank God for getting me through it and for all the things I learned through that time. Things have just been hard these last few weeks, one of those things being the holidays coming up. Holidays are bittersweet for me...and that being because my mom absolutely loved them. Thanksgiving and Christmas were her favorite times of the year-she went all out on decorating the house, buying us presents, drinking hot chocolate, playing in the snow....she really made this time of year real for us. Now, I am not one to dwell on the past, because I know that all I have is right now and the past is done and over. But when it is tangible, in front of my eyes- like the little girl I saw eating an ice cream dinner with her mom in the middle of winter (which my mom and I did constantly)- it brings back memories of the holidays that I can't forget and I honestly wish I could somehow have back. Like I said, this time of year was my mom's favorite, and she made sure that we all enjoyed every minute- and we did.
So anyway, thats been one thing this week. The daly hustle and bustle of life has been doubled with papers to write and maps to print and bibliographies to keep up. I am not looking forward to my speech tomorrow to say the least, but I will do fine I am sure and I'll make it through.
Katie's musical revisit thing (i have no idea what you call it) was amazing. She sang Defying Gravity from Wicked and blew everyone away. Of course :) its Katie we're talking about here. She did a beautiful job and I am very proud of her. I got to see her hammock that I plan on sleeping in very soon and I am terribly excited that I finally get to meet Brittany over New Years sometime.
Ok. Well I think that is it for now. My worries for tomorrow have caught my attention and I think I will go practice my speech. After tomorrow Thanksgiving break officially begins and my excitement is beyond words.
Have a wonderful night.
abby
As many of you know, I have a new friend by the name of Salem Oliver Coleman St. Marie, though sometimes my new furry friend is referred to by the name of Sir Salem or Mr. Oliver. He is a Syrian Hamster that lives in my office and keeps me company while a work away at my homework. He makes a lovely companion.
Life has been ok. Nothing terrible, just the normal stress, zero sleep, and unwanted life curveballs. It builds character and makes you stronger, and I look back at times that I have been stressed and I can honestly thank God for getting me through it and for all the things I learned through that time. Things have just been hard these last few weeks, one of those things being the holidays coming up. Holidays are bittersweet for me...and that being because my mom absolutely loved them. Thanksgiving and Christmas were her favorite times of the year-she went all out on decorating the house, buying us presents, drinking hot chocolate, playing in the snow....she really made this time of year real for us. Now, I am not one to dwell on the past, because I know that all I have is right now and the past is done and over. But when it is tangible, in front of my eyes- like the little girl I saw eating an ice cream dinner with her mom in the middle of winter (which my mom and I did constantly)- it brings back memories of the holidays that I can't forget and I honestly wish I could somehow have back. Like I said, this time of year was my mom's favorite, and she made sure that we all enjoyed every minute- and we did.
So anyway, thats been one thing this week. The daly hustle and bustle of life has been doubled with papers to write and maps to print and bibliographies to keep up. I am not looking forward to my speech tomorrow to say the least, but I will do fine I am sure and I'll make it through.
Katie's musical revisit thing (i have no idea what you call it) was amazing. She sang Defying Gravity from Wicked and blew everyone away. Of course :) its Katie we're talking about here. She did a beautiful job and I am very proud of her. I got to see her hammock that I plan on sleeping in very soon and I am terribly excited that I finally get to meet Brittany over New Years sometime.
Ok. Well I think that is it for now. My worries for tomorrow have caught my attention and I think I will go practice my speech. After tomorrow Thanksgiving break officially begins and my excitement is beyond words.
Have a wonderful night.
abby
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Tuesday Brings Forth Intrigued Readers...Harketh! I Update.
Sorry for the lack of posts. School has captured the majority of my time and refuses to give it back, at least until Thanksgiving. But here I am now, relieving any irritatedness from my readers (I do sincerely apologize).
"Everything happens for a reason" were the words that caught me off guard today...the funny thing is, it was a taste of my own medicine. I'm always the one telling people to quit worrying... "everything happens for a reason." The words bit me in the butt today when I found myself slightly upset about being late for clogging, as we have been instructed to not be late. "Everything happens for a reason, Abby."
Let me clarify a subject that comes up frequently when I say that. I do not, under any circumstaces, believe in predestination. I believe that there is a fine line between things happening for a reason and being predestined, and that line is free will. God planted in us a free will to make our own decisions-whether or not we choose to follow him, etc. It is not love to force someone to believe in something. Things happening for a reason...there is a time and season for everything, and for every event under heaven...
Anyway, now that that is cleared up. Where was I? Ah, right...taste of my own medicine. It certainly has been an interesting day, mostly made up of learning through trial and error and figuring things out on my own, but it has been good for me. A major thing, as you may have already guessed, has been to not say something unless you can act upon it yourself. The whole concept of getting the log out of your eye before the speck of your brother's, I suppose would be one way to look at it. I have been actually very amused at how I've had to learn things the hard way, but the best part about learning that way is that you will never do it again. One thing I've learned is that when something must be learned in such a manner (whether due to closed-mindedness, stubborness, or just pure necessity of learning a lesson in such a way), there is nothing better than to learn the lesson, and move on in life. What is the purpose of getting so upset about how life "sucks" because we had to go through some tough stuff? Move on with life... there is so much more to do with the only life you've been given.
Well I so wasn't planning on going that route with this. But I guess it was just one of those things... well, that happens for a reason.
thats all for now, readers. have a wonderful night...and do something out of the ordinary in the next 24 hours. Call someone that you haven't talked to in forever, or pay the bill for the guy sitting two tables down from you. Who knows...you could change a life.
<3 abby
"Everything happens for a reason" were the words that caught me off guard today...the funny thing is, it was a taste of my own medicine. I'm always the one telling people to quit worrying... "everything happens for a reason." The words bit me in the butt today when I found myself slightly upset about being late for clogging, as we have been instructed to not be late. "Everything happens for a reason, Abby."
Let me clarify a subject that comes up frequently when I say that. I do not, under any circumstaces, believe in predestination. I believe that there is a fine line between things happening for a reason and being predestined, and that line is free will. God planted in us a free will to make our own decisions-whether or not we choose to follow him, etc. It is not love to force someone to believe in something. Things happening for a reason...there is a time and season for everything, and for every event under heaven...
Anyway, now that that is cleared up. Where was I? Ah, right...taste of my own medicine. It certainly has been an interesting day, mostly made up of learning through trial and error and figuring things out on my own, but it has been good for me. A major thing, as you may have already guessed, has been to not say something unless you can act upon it yourself. The whole concept of getting the log out of your eye before the speck of your brother's, I suppose would be one way to look at it. I have been actually very amused at how I've had to learn things the hard way, but the best part about learning that way is that you will never do it again. One thing I've learned is that when something must be learned in such a manner (whether due to closed-mindedness, stubborness, or just pure necessity of learning a lesson in such a way), there is nothing better than to learn the lesson, and move on in life. What is the purpose of getting so upset about how life "sucks" because we had to go through some tough stuff? Move on with life... there is so much more to do with the only life you've been given.
Well I so wasn't planning on going that route with this. But I guess it was just one of those things... well, that happens for a reason.
thats all for now, readers. have a wonderful night...and do something out of the ordinary in the next 24 hours. Call someone that you haven't talked to in forever, or pay the bill for the guy sitting two tables down from you. Who knows...you could change a life.
<3 abby
Sunday, November 9, 2008
Not Just Sunday Dreaming
"what does it mean to you to be a Christian?" was the question that struck me almost first thing this morning. No churchy answers allowed. No religous answers allowed. Thank God.
To tell the truth, everything about today has been challenging. A small amount of it has been a good challenge...and the rest has required an extra boost of patience and forgiveness. The house today must be immaculate, and my stomach has been in knots since the moment I woke up. Unfortunately that has spread to all over not feeling good..and I hate days like this. I'm gonna have to end this to get a nap in before company gets here, so sorry for the shortness of the post.
abby.
To tell the truth, everything about today has been challenging. A small amount of it has been a good challenge...and the rest has required an extra boost of patience and forgiveness. The house today must be immaculate, and my stomach has been in knots since the moment I woke up. Unfortunately that has spread to all over not feeling good..and I hate days like this. I'm gonna have to end this to get a nap in before company gets here, so sorry for the shortness of the post.
abby.
Saturday, November 8, 2008
Dreaming Beyond Words...
"Dreams are the answers to the questions that we have not yet figured out how to ask..."
-Fox Mulder
The last few days have been filled with laughter, confusion, fun times, stress, and somehow in the midst there was peace. My thoughts have been mostly on the contrast between the life of old and the life of the present....pros, cons, and common ground. Though there was only a little bit of time in between old life and new life, that middle time was not pleasant (it is also a slight blur) and I admit that I consciously ignore it. The change was almost overnight, however....I went to Mexico, and when I came home Father was lost in love and the rest of us dragged behind... nothing was the same. At all.
I'll never have that life back...and that is scary. I had to move ahead and leave all I knew- my lifestyle, tendencies...the whole nine yards behind. I had to start over and learn how to live a new life filled with new people that I didn't know- and then relate those people to being my new family. I was given different responsibilities and privileges, while some of my old ones were taken away. I was on my own figuring out what was okay and what was not- the rules of the game completely changed, and so did the priorities. I learned how to live with new people and step out of the box- and most of all to be forgiving, keep short accounts, keep an open mind to new ideas, and to be patient. Even though the thought of never having my old life back (that includes the relationships I had with my biological siblings- not that they are bad, they've just changed) scares me and forces me to look ahead at change, I don't think I would trade a moment of it for what I have now. My life has been picked up, turned upside down, and then put back together in a different way, and its been confusing, stressful, and even slightly painful- but my new siblings, my new lifestyle, and my new mother have all been worth the inconveniences. I've learned to love new people and even how to share a bathroom with them. I've learned a lot about living with a million boys and what NOT to do- like not to say "make me", "I dare you", or "yeah, right." I've learned that if you do say those things- you'll end up in pain or in the pond. Most of all I've learned that God brings new people into your life for a reason...to build you into who you are and to fulfill the plan that he has for you...and I don't think I could do that without my new family.
I suppose thats all for now...
abby
-Fox Mulder
The last few days have been filled with laughter, confusion, fun times, stress, and somehow in the midst there was peace. My thoughts have been mostly on the contrast between the life of old and the life of the present....pros, cons, and common ground. Though there was only a little bit of time in between old life and new life, that middle time was not pleasant (it is also a slight blur) and I admit that I consciously ignore it. The change was almost overnight, however....I went to Mexico, and when I came home Father was lost in love and the rest of us dragged behind... nothing was the same. At all.
I'll never have that life back...and that is scary. I had to move ahead and leave all I knew- my lifestyle, tendencies...the whole nine yards behind. I had to start over and learn how to live a new life filled with new people that I didn't know- and then relate those people to being my new family. I was given different responsibilities and privileges, while some of my old ones were taken away. I was on my own figuring out what was okay and what was not- the rules of the game completely changed, and so did the priorities. I learned how to live with new people and step out of the box- and most of all to be forgiving, keep short accounts, keep an open mind to new ideas, and to be patient. Even though the thought of never having my old life back (that includes the relationships I had with my biological siblings- not that they are bad, they've just changed) scares me and forces me to look ahead at change, I don't think I would trade a moment of it for what I have now. My life has been picked up, turned upside down, and then put back together in a different way, and its been confusing, stressful, and even slightly painful- but my new siblings, my new lifestyle, and my new mother have all been worth the inconveniences. I've learned to love new people and even how to share a bathroom with them. I've learned a lot about living with a million boys and what NOT to do- like not to say "make me", "I dare you", or "yeah, right." I've learned that if you do say those things- you'll end up in pain or in the pond. Most of all I've learned that God brings new people into your life for a reason...to build you into who you are and to fulfill the plan that he has for you...and I don't think I could do that without my new family.
I suppose thats all for now...
abby
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Beyond Wednesday Dreams...
The rarity of this morning shocked me, as I managed to "sleep in" until eight o' clock, and still start school by my normal eight thirty. I might just have to try that more often.
Today was filled with speeches to practice, papers to write, vocabulary to learn, and modules to read. Spare moments have been scarce, but I soaked in each one I could find. It has been a tiring day undoubtedly, and this could possilby be the shortest entry yet, but we will see how long my fingers can blurt out the sentences that are sometimes so hard to describe to you, reader. But please know that i give it my best.
I've been thinking today about how overrated people sometimes make the opinion of their aquantances...to the point that it becomes morbid. Why? What is so important about the opinion of those around us...not that it necesarrily shouldn't matter, but should it consume our minds so much as it does many people? The way we dress...act...speak...present ourselves...and even the way we listen changes depending on our audience. It makes me quite sad that many people have not had the opportunity that I have had- to grow up around a majority of Godly people and not feel nearly as much peer pressure. I just can't imagine how it feels to not have that... though i surely am not saying i don't know pain, hurt, grief, or slight insecurity from time to time...of course it happens.
The ugly room meeting was fine tonight. Distracting, as usual, but I assume that one day i will get used to it. We are studying still the book of John, and it has been quite interesting. I have learned so much that I would never have known. I think that Ms. Delnora's teaching style fits my learning style beautifully; I can just learn anything from her (biology, the bible....).
Well, I'm afraid this Wednesday Dreaming has drifted beyond the day it was intended for, as midnight has passed and Thursday has come before my eyes...i guess i can leave you with just this on my mind- don't take a second for granted, but enjoy each minute and live it out to its fullest. God's timing is perfect...and while it may not always seem perfect or comfortable, he always offers peace as a side effect of living in that timing....
have a wonderful night,
abby
Today was filled with speeches to practice, papers to write, vocabulary to learn, and modules to read. Spare moments have been scarce, but I soaked in each one I could find. It has been a tiring day undoubtedly, and this could possilby be the shortest entry yet, but we will see how long my fingers can blurt out the sentences that are sometimes so hard to describe to you, reader. But please know that i give it my best.
I've been thinking today about how overrated people sometimes make the opinion of their aquantances...to the point that it becomes morbid. Why? What is so important about the opinion of those around us...not that it necesarrily shouldn't matter, but should it consume our minds so much as it does many people? The way we dress...act...speak...present ourselves...and even the way we listen changes depending on our audience. It makes me quite sad that many people have not had the opportunity that I have had- to grow up around a majority of Godly people and not feel nearly as much peer pressure. I just can't imagine how it feels to not have that... though i surely am not saying i don't know pain, hurt, grief, or slight insecurity from time to time...of course it happens.
The ugly room meeting was fine tonight. Distracting, as usual, but I assume that one day i will get used to it. We are studying still the book of John, and it has been quite interesting. I have learned so much that I would never have known. I think that Ms. Delnora's teaching style fits my learning style beautifully; I can just learn anything from her (biology, the bible....).
Well, I'm afraid this Wednesday Dreaming has drifted beyond the day it was intended for, as midnight has passed and Thursday has come before my eyes...i guess i can leave you with just this on my mind- don't take a second for granted, but enjoy each minute and live it out to its fullest. God's timing is perfect...and while it may not always seem perfect or comfortable, he always offers peace as a side effect of living in that timing....
have a wonderful night,
abby
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Tuesday Dreaming
Today brings the chaos of the elections, and annoying people who shove options in your face and pressure you to choose...to say the least I am glad that this abrading year of political disturbance is coming to a close....though I have let it stress me out somewhat.
This morning was full of planning and procrastination. Well, I should say procrastination via planning. I spent a lot of time planning this week, avoiding the evils of biology modules and infamous algebra tests. I still didn't get everything on the list for today done, but I suppose the blame is upon myself. It's not unmanageably so, however, for I have a good amount of time ahead of me this week.
I have caught up a little bit in life since my last post...but I fear I am still behind. Life keeps going and I keep lagging behind, but I feel like I am slowly gaining ground. Slowly, mind you.
Well it is interesting how God sometimes subtly moves you into a new season...and you barely realize it until you look back at yourself a month or two ago, and you are shocked at the change. God has moved my priorities around, my friendships into new places, and has even brought new people into my life. And I didn't even realize that until today...when I was thinking about my lifestyle in the after camp/before school lag.
I guess the polls have grabbed my attention, despite my dislike for politics. I will write to you tomorrow, dear readers, and I hope you have wonderful dreams tonight of what God is saying and that he will speak to you in creative ways that you've never experienced before....
happy dreaming.
abby
This morning was full of planning and procrastination. Well, I should say procrastination via planning. I spent a lot of time planning this week, avoiding the evils of biology modules and infamous algebra tests. I still didn't get everything on the list for today done, but I suppose the blame is upon myself. It's not unmanageably so, however, for I have a good amount of time ahead of me this week.
I have caught up a little bit in life since my last post...but I fear I am still behind. Life keeps going and I keep lagging behind, but I feel like I am slowly gaining ground. Slowly, mind you.
Well it is interesting how God sometimes subtly moves you into a new season...and you barely realize it until you look back at yourself a month or two ago, and you are shocked at the change. God has moved my priorities around, my friendships into new places, and has even brought new people into my life. And I didn't even realize that until today...when I was thinking about my lifestyle in the after camp/before school lag.
I guess the polls have grabbed my attention, despite my dislike for politics. I will write to you tomorrow, dear readers, and I hope you have wonderful dreams tonight of what God is saying and that he will speak to you in creative ways that you've never experienced before....
happy dreaming.
abby
Monday, November 3, 2008
Monday Dreaming
Seven-twenty-three this morning found me wide awake due to dara trying not to be loud in exiting our door, which is inconvienently right next to my bed. Though I was slightly annoyed, i quickly got over that with the hurriedness that rushed into my head. Shower...clothes...make-up...hair...bag packed, coffee made, and lunch prepared. I have one hour.
So flying through the air my covers went, much to my disproval. But choices in the matter are out of the question. One foot plopped onto the ground, and the other one soon followed. Before i knew it the coffee was brewing and my hair was drying....i passionately hate monday mornings.
I bombed my speech and debate test, but that fact is probably not my fault, since the class starts at nine o' clock, which puts me up at an ungodly hour. Not to mention the weather outside was absolutely ideal today, which makes sitting in a classroom a situation which requires much self-control. My thoughts today were deep (that is, after i was much more awake) and far from the subject at hand in each class. I also had to face one of my least favorite people: the middle aged, balding, bad hair-cut, horrifying mustache SAT Prep man on the DVD. His voice is far from normal and resembles a smurf to some degree. His humor is far from hilarious but is quite entertaining. The stupid squeak he creates when he insists on writing on his white board makes me want to break the tv screen.
The relationships with the people i came in contact with today have left me dazed and i guess i will have to come out of the fog before i can explain it, for i am not even sure i know what has happened today. i guess it hasn't been a negative shift, but quite possibly not positive. My world has pulled me in a million different directions today, and it has left me stretched out. It has left me feeling like i am living life in slow motion while the world around me is in fast-forward and full speed ahead. I am ready for things to slow down and balance out. Everyone else is on the right track...where did i stray?
Well, this Monday Dreaming would soon become Midnight Dreaming, with thoughts of autumn brilliance, and summer wishes of freedom and innocence...
adios for now.
abby
So flying through the air my covers went, much to my disproval. But choices in the matter are out of the question. One foot plopped onto the ground, and the other one soon followed. Before i knew it the coffee was brewing and my hair was drying....i passionately hate monday mornings.
I bombed my speech and debate test, but that fact is probably not my fault, since the class starts at nine o' clock, which puts me up at an ungodly hour. Not to mention the weather outside was absolutely ideal today, which makes sitting in a classroom a situation which requires much self-control. My thoughts today were deep (that is, after i was much more awake) and far from the subject at hand in each class. I also had to face one of my least favorite people: the middle aged, balding, bad hair-cut, horrifying mustache SAT Prep man on the DVD. His voice is far from normal and resembles a smurf to some degree. His humor is far from hilarious but is quite entertaining. The stupid squeak he creates when he insists on writing on his white board makes me want to break the tv screen.
The relationships with the people i came in contact with today have left me dazed and i guess i will have to come out of the fog before i can explain it, for i am not even sure i know what has happened today. i guess it hasn't been a negative shift, but quite possibly not positive. My world has pulled me in a million different directions today, and it has left me stretched out. It has left me feeling like i am living life in slow motion while the world around me is in fast-forward and full speed ahead. I am ready for things to slow down and balance out. Everyone else is on the right track...where did i stray?
Well, this Monday Dreaming would soon become Midnight Dreaming, with thoughts of autumn brilliance, and summer wishes of freedom and innocence...
adios for now.
abby
Sunday, November 2, 2008
Sunday Dreaming
Today began with an alarm...funny enough, it was coming from my phone, though i didn't set it for that time. Half-asleep, i slammed my hand against my nightstand and grudgely moved it around to find the source of racket that was disturbing my sleep. seven o' clock. what? i set my alarm for eight... ugh, daylight savings. wait...i get to sleep for another hour....
alarm number two. this time i was more awake and ready for a hot shower. turn the knobs while rubbing my eyes...disappointment ran through my fingers. the hot water heater is still broken... when are they gonna get around to calling the repair man....too late now. lukewarm it is.
i stepped into the obnoxiously painted room ten minutes late....there sat the well-known faces that i hadn't seen in weeks, as well as a handful of new ones. interesting.
the stairs faced me with hopes running through my head of descent music and my to-do list for the day racing across my mind. Descent would be an adequate word. Pastor Richard seemed very excited to ask how I was doing.... doing good, thank you. The piercing sound of out-of- date music began as the usual tin-can sound sunk in.
Sunday church funness over.....what was that to-do list again? Spanish vocabulary for test tomorrow, vacuum room, grade biology test....ah, we're going to lunch with the Buckmans. Good, i've been wanting to get to know them a little better...
A thick Mexican accent startled me as i took a last glance at the menu...i guess my thoughts had wandered...and soon enough we were done with lunch and preparing to make our way home.
now here i am...restless yet keenly aware of my unpleasant morning ahead, and my bag isn't even packed. yet the only thing on my mind is the blooming of a new friendship that i am rediculously excited about. not just with the entire Buckman family, but the befriending of one who shares my own name, what could better begin a friendship?
...i suppose it is my least and most favorite time of day...depending on my mood. i suppose tonight it is in my best interest, niether least nor most...and that is the time that i must go to sleep. More tomorrow.
Abby
alarm number two. this time i was more awake and ready for a hot shower. turn the knobs while rubbing my eyes...disappointment ran through my fingers. the hot water heater is still broken... when are they gonna get around to calling the repair man....too late now. lukewarm it is.
i stepped into the obnoxiously painted room ten minutes late....there sat the well-known faces that i hadn't seen in weeks, as well as a handful of new ones. interesting.
the stairs faced me with hopes running through my head of descent music and my to-do list for the day racing across my mind. Descent would be an adequate word. Pastor Richard seemed very excited to ask how I was doing.... doing good, thank you. The piercing sound of out-of- date music began as the usual tin-can sound sunk in.
Sunday church funness over.....what was that to-do list again? Spanish vocabulary for test tomorrow, vacuum room, grade biology test....ah, we're going to lunch with the Buckmans. Good, i've been wanting to get to know them a little better...
A thick Mexican accent startled me as i took a last glance at the menu...i guess my thoughts had wandered...and soon enough we were done with lunch and preparing to make our way home.
now here i am...restless yet keenly aware of my unpleasant morning ahead, and my bag isn't even packed. yet the only thing on my mind is the blooming of a new friendship that i am rediculously excited about. not just with the entire Buckman family, but the befriending of one who shares my own name, what could better begin a friendship?
...i suppose it is my least and most favorite time of day...depending on my mood. i suppose tonight it is in my best interest, niether least nor most...and that is the time that i must go to sleep. More tomorrow.
Abby
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