18 Days Remaining

So I do realize that I haven't updated in nearly a week. As you probably guessed, I started school and its been pretty time consuming. I'm using a curriculum that does all sorts of subjects based on history. So it covers architecture, art, civilization, history, science, and literature/english based on a certain time period. So I'm studying creation-500 BC this year, and all of those subjects are covered within that time period. Aside from that, I'm doing Algebra and Spanish. I'm sure you find that terribly interesting. Anyway, I definitely have my hands full this year, but as you've read....I am excited.

On another note, we rearranged our room today and it looks fantastic. I actually feel like I have my own space for the first time in a few years. It is absolutely wonderful :) it really is amazing how much having a place of your own changes things.

There's 18 days left in the fast, and I must say I am seriously looking forward to it ending. I want to eat something really amazing. Like the cheesecake that Kiffer is going to make me. But, its been good for me to fast. I've learned so so much through it.

Ok, well now I'm just rambling....even though I don't really feel like I've written anything worth reading. Well, at least you know I'm still alive. That counts for something, right?

Until next time.

Abby

24 Days To Go

So I have to admit that I am writing this post simply out of force because I feel like I need to update. In which case, please excuse and sarcasm or dumb jokes.

We got home from Alabama last night and I had been anticipating getting home all day. As it turns out, we had to spend the night at Mimi's because it was apparently too late to go home at 9:00. I was majorly bummed to say the least. Needless to say, I was happy to walk in the front door. I suppose it's somewhat ironic that I didn't want to leave Alabama, and I would still be there if I could. Sort of a bittersweet home-coming.

I think for a while now, I've been craving a new adventure. Again, kind-of ironic that I just got back from Alabama.... but something new. Something....I've never done before. I suppose part of it is that I'm ready to get out of Brevard period....I don't really care to be here any more, which is weird for me because I've always loved Brevard. I just am starting to feel like there's nothing here for me. Not much I can do about it, I know, but I can't help but feel like I'm ready to get out. I don't know if that makes much sense.

Anyhow, its been a pretty good day. I'm rather enjoying the last little bit of summer before school starts (at some point). I had a coffee date with Elizabeth tonight and it was wonderful to catch up with her a bit and spend some time with her. I'm working on getting together with friends as much as possible before school starts, but my load is much lighter this year than it was last year, so by no means is school going to stop me from seeing them. It just seems right to spend the last few days of summer with the people I love.

I've been thinking a lot about God's timing lately. I guess a minor example was with Alabama.... I didn't think I'd be able to leave, but the time came and I was at peace. When you live in the Kingdom its funny how God's timing most always seems about right. Maybe not completely comfortable, but there's this strange peace about it. Another example would be Guatemala. I never wanted to leave those precious people, but when we had to leave, I felt peace about it. I prayed the whole time I was there.... God, don't let me leave here with unsettled business or while I still feel like I need to stay. And when I boarded the bus for Guatemala City, I felt a strange peace about leaving. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't comfortable nor did I want to leave. But it was right. I suppose the most recent thing on this topic has been school. Right after camp had ended (potentially the worst few days of my year) I didn't see a possible way for me to go back to school anytime remotely soon and be okay. I've had time to process and grow even stronger.... and you know what? I even feel like I'm ready now..there's peace and I'm okay with it. That rarely ever happens for me. And I will be even more prepared when we start.

School hasn't ever been terribly exciting for me. I've had to push myself to stay motivated and somewhat entertained by it. My freshman year, I took it too lightly and didn't really care. Last year, my sophomore year, I was at the other end of the spectrum.... I decided that I was too carefree about school and I had to tighten up. It was too much, I truthfully pushed myself too hard. This year, while I'm still not terribly excited, I'm looking at it from a different standpoint. Its where God has me right now for a reason. He won't give me anything I can't handle, and that includes high school :) even my junior year is Kingdom business. Since I'm not the most motivated person, I just keep telling myself that if I don't do it, it is a limitation. If I get through high school with excellence, I can go more places and accomplish more in the Kingdom. That may sound dumb, but its absolutely true.

One more thing about today :) I've been thinking about something that Brian Johnson talked about a little bit. Being discontent. I've had it on my back burner for a while that I'm just not satisfied quite yet....I guess like I'm still trying to get comfortable. I don't know if that makes any sense, but it was sort of brought out this week. I'm not unhappy or seriously about to lose it... I'm just not quite satisfied with it. And I think some of that goes back to the whole Brevard thing. I've come a long way this year, especially over the summer. But I'm still working on a lot- one of those things is trying to find a place "to land"...I guess a sense of balance in my life between school, family, friends, church, clogging....and putting Jesus in the center. I think that I'm not the only person on the planet that struggles with this... you see it all the time. People get too wrapped up in their ministry, job, materialism, school, themselves....it's hard to find that balance between it all and yet keep God in the middle of everything that goes on. I think that this is an opportune time in my life to figure out my priorities- with school starting back soon and clogging too.

Anyway, thats been my thoughts mostly for today. I regretably haven't been in the word much for a while....I didn't have my bible for a week (I just got it back today), so I'm sorry for the lack of word study posts.

Have a great evening.

Abby

2 Weeks

Well, the fast has reached 2 weeks tomorrow which is exciting. Still 4 1/2 to go, but its okay. I've seriously started craving facebook and foods of sorts that are off limits to me. I'll make it though.... I'm determined.

Today Clint, Jenn, and their kids took me, Cliff and Dara to the beach with their boat. I had an awesome time, and I might get pictures up at some point. We found sand dollars and shells, swam with dolphins, and relaxed on the beach for hours on end. It was wonderful. I hadn't been to the beach in 4 years. It was a beautiful end to an amazing week.

I've simply fallen in love with these people. Its very hard to leave tomorrow, and frankly I'm not ready to at all. Sometimes when you're gone for a while, you feel like its about time to go home. Thats the thing, I've been so at home that it almost seems odd to go back to Brevard. I really love being down here with all of the New Freedom Church people....they are simply incredible. I'm so glad that Cliff is getting the chance to be down here with them and hey, who knows, maybe one day I will be too. It makes me sad to have to go.

Anyway, I'm getting really sleepy really fast. Its been an eventful day! Have a wonderful night, world.

Abby

10 Days and Counting

Hola Readers,

I realize its been close to a week since I updated, and my only excuse is that I've been preparing for Alabama and spending as much time with friends as possible before school starts.

Just in case you don't know, I'm now in Webb, Alabama at New Freedom Church for a Brian and Jenn Johnson Conference. Chris Quilala will also be here, and I'm very excited to get to meet them and worship with them! Its going to be awesome. I'm still adjusting to the slight time change, but who's complaining....I get another hour to sleep. We stayed up until 1:30 (2:30 my time) last night talking about the Kingdom of God. I was privledged enough to just sit and bask in the incredible revelation of the people I was talking with. They really know the Kingdom.... which, in case you haven't noticed, has been the theme of my life since June. And it will be the theme for the rest of my life....because it's the King's domain, and thats where I belong.

Anyhow, it was somewhat difficult to get down here, but that's almost to be expected when something awesome is about to happen. I left my bible (major bummer), Dara left her flip-flops, Cliff left a few things.... some confusion. We picked up on it quickly and made sure it came to an end :) heh.

God has been continuing to reveal his Kingdom to me (shocker, I know). I told my Grandma and Mr. Larry this morning, ever since I got a hold of the Kingdom it has completely changed my life. Everything about it. I suppose you could say the most recent thing has been that the Kingdom is a culture of honor. It makes sense. God's expectations are excellence, and honor falls into that.

Well, I had more to say, but it's about time to go move into the activities of the day. I love these people!

Jesus loves you (that's from Dara),

Abby

Día Cinco: Más Difícil

Today is day 5 and its getting more and more difficult. I've had to consciously avoid TV today, which isn't something that I'd had to deal with yet. I think that is the worst for me, just because I'm so used to doing things while keeping an eye on the television. I've tried to instead replace that with worship music, which so far has helped a little....but not the visual aid part of it. Its been a challenge, but what is a fast without a challenge?

Something that I realized a few months ago was that I was seriously lacking the word of God. I had worship playing all day long, but I was spending absolutely no time in the word that he gave us. One reason was because I found it kinda boring, the other was because I didn't feel like I had time. So, I started praying....God, please give me a hunger for your word. Please help me to understand it.

And guess what? I'm totally interested. Since then I've had the opportunity to really get into the Hebrew and Greek origins of the bible, and it has fascinated me.

The other day I started reading Psalm 119, just because I have admittedly never read it before. I think it slightly intimidated me because I didn't think I could get all of it maybe. Hah. Anyhow, I've been reading it in its original divisions, which is only a few verses at a time. The unknown author of 119 writes about his hunger to know God....to really, really know him. Not only that, but he talks about what God has promised us relating to the word. I think that the author had a genuine hunger to know God's words...His commandments, promises, wisdom, etc.

"How can a young man keep his way pure? By keeping it according to your word. With all my heart I have sought you; do not let me wander from your commandments." v. 9-10

Thats just one example. Its awesome how God gets you interested in the Word and then shows you how important it is.

Anyway, so thats been one thing. Another has been the thing of wholeheartedly pursuing God. what. a. topic. I've been thinking lately, God, how can I seriously wholeheartedly pursue you? Its one thing to say it, its another to live it is something I've found. Psalms and Proverbs have a lot to say about what wholeheartedly pursuing God looks like, which is awesome. This time God brought me to two specific passages in Jeremiah 29:11-14 and Matthew 6 though.

I think everyone has heard this passage. I have it on a plaque of wood in my room. It sometimes seems overused.....what happens when you understand it though?

"'For I know the plans that I have for you,' declares the Lord. 'Plans for welfare and not for calamity, to give you a future and a hope. 'Then you will call upon me and come and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you search for me with all of your heart. 'I will be found by you,' declares the Lord."

God has plans for us. Huge, monstrous, awesome plans for us. I was listening to Bill Johnson earlier today and he was talking about becoming a part of ministries. If we "marry" ourselves to other believers, then their good news becomes our good news. Its exciting for everyone. There's a story that he told about three men, one said, "I'm laying a floor," the other said, "I'm building bricks," and the other said, "I'm building a cathedral." What happens when we aren't just doing our part in the body of Christ, but we're also looking at the big picture....the "cathedral." God has plans for US as a body, and all of the plans that he has for us individually line up with that. I'm not talking about church-goers. I'm talking about the body of Christ.

Anyway, thats not exactly what I was getting at. The next part says, "you will pray to me and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you search for me with all your heart. And I will be found by you...." and so on so forth. The key here for me is search because that is the action behind pursuing God wholeheartedly. What does that look like? Proverbs 25 talks about the glory of Kings is to search out a matter. So we know its big stuff to search something out wholeheartedly. But what does it look like? For me, this is where Matthew 6 comes in....

I think I used Matthew 6 in a recent blog post about worry. I don't really want to summarize, just scroll down a bit and read the post :) The point is, I've been in Matthew 6 lately. Right before the passage about anxiety, it talks about fasting (haha) and treasure. What the heck does treasure have to do with pursuing God, right?

¹⁹Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal.²⁰"But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys, and where thieves do not break in or steal; ²¹for where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

Just in case you didn't catch that last part...where your treasure is there your heart will be also. Where is our treasure? Ok, so maybe we totally aren't attached to material things ("treasures")....what about our time? Energy? How about being inconvenienced? Or taking away "that" which we can't live without? When we don't have all of our valuable or "treasured" areas of life sown into heaven, then our heart isn't completely pursuing the Father.

It cross-references to Matthew 19:21 where Jesus is talking to the rich young ruler who wants to know how to get into heaven and Jesus says to go sell his possessions and follow him, and he will have treasure in heaven. Great! So all you have to do is sell all of your possessions? :) no. for me this is also about giving all of yourself up ("selling" in a sense) for those that God puts in your path.

It also cross-references to a really cool verse in I Timothy.

¹⁸Instruct them to do good, to be rich in good works, to be generous and ready to share,¹⁹storing up for themselves the treasure of a good foundation for the future, so that they may take hold of that which is life indeed.

This also relates to giving yourself up for others. We've loosed this in heaven, because we loosed it on earth. Is thatsn't that cool? It also say we "take hold of that which is life indeed." which is Jesus. That sounds like wholehearted pursuit to me.

Ok, well I think I've about worn out my blog for tonight. I hope someone got something out of my rambling :) have a wonderful night, world.

Abby

Day 4:TVR

Today is day 4 and things are going fine. I'm enjoying some time at TVR, which is where Nancy has her board meeting for NCHE every year. It is really pretty and relaxing to some degree. I do appologize that this post may be very short :)

It is difficult to eat here, but I've managed to get plenty of protien and food. I normally can find a way :). I haven't been really hungry, probably because I eat a LOT of the food that doesn't have sugar in it. I'm very happy that I'm getting to spend some time with Mary and Elizabeth this weekend. I'm leaving for Alabama on Wednesday for a worship conference....we'll be there for probably a week, and I am very much so looking forward to spending some time with the wonderful people down there, as well as meeting Brian and Jenn Johnson.

I may have time to update later today, after I have some Jesus time and have something worth writing about :) for now I need to go and help tri-fold 2700 NCHE membership forms. Wonderful :)

Abby

Day Two:

Today is day two and it has been more difficult. I guess the lack of sugar has started setting in.... headaches and sleepiness. Its actually kinda gross when you think about it, how much we "need" sugar. I've been studying a lot in the word today, some in Matthew 6 and some in Colossians 1. Which totally don't have anything to do with each other, but God brought me to Matthew 6 this morning and Ms. Delnora taught on Colossians 1 tonight.

Matthew 6 is jam-packed with a lot of awesome stuff. God really brought me to the end of the chapter, where it talks about the Father taking care of the birds and dressing the lilies of the field. If God cares enough to make sure that the birds are fed, and has taken the time to dress the lilies so beautifully, how much more does he care about us? I guess something that I've realized is that its not worth the anxiety of always worrying if I know that my Heavenly Father's got my back anyway. Why not let him take care of it if he's going to anyway? There's a song that I love that says, "I know that if your eye is on the sparrow, then your heart is on me." I think that summarizes this passage beautifully :)

I think one of the coolest things is that it goes on to say to "seek first His kingdom and His righteousness and all these things shall be added unto you"....think about that for a second. I think that a lot of us know this verse from hearing it, or maybe even reading it at some point in our lives. But how many can say they know the context?.....And WHAT shall be added unto you? How do you know if you don't read the verses leading up to it?

God is going to take care of us. Hands down. He knows our needs and meets them. Something I heard recently was this....God is rarely early, but never late. That so ties in here. Why be so anxious if God is going to meet our needs in His timeframe anyway? I think its awesome how God puts responsibilities on us and loves to see us carry those out.

....Seek first His kingdom and His righteousness. Thats a responsibility. If you're friends with me on Facebook, you might've read my note that I wrote a week or two ago. Just within the first few sentences you will find out that I got a hold of the Kingdom of God this year. Its huge. Its the culture we live in as Christians. It is our God-given responsibility to seek out His kingdom and righteousness and find out what its all about. God wants us to know Him (the king) and His kingdom- its the world he lives in and so craves for us to be a part of and to have understanding about. I'm not sure if I'm making any sense, but ever since this summer it has been on my heart for people to understand or further understand what the Kingdom of God is all about-- how it functions, what it looks like, what our role it, and how we apply the kingdom to our lives and live in it as citizens.

Ok, I think I've about worn out Matthew 6 for tonight :)

Colossians is a book that, in general, is talking about Jesus as the head of the church, though it is much more complex. We only covered 10 verses tonight, but that is something that I love about Ms. Delnora- she takes the Word in small chunks and really gets to the meaning of that little bit before moving on. We talked about the kingdom of darkness, which is basically the kingdom we are born into- it is the kindom where satan has dominion. When we become Christians we switch kingdoms- we are transferred into the Kingdom where God has full-on authority and jurisdiction....the Kingdom of Heaven. I think it is so vital for every believer to have foundational understanding of God's Kingdom. It just makes so much more sense when you know about the "world" you're living in and that you've been living in since the day you transferred kingdoms.

Hah. Maybe they do have something to do with each other.

Anyway, there was more on that scripture that I wanted to get to, but I think I'll let you guys read it yourself. Its getting late :)

Have a wonderful night, or....whenever you're reading this.

Abby

Fasting: Day 1

Today is the first of my 40-day fast. I'm doing TV, movies, video games, facebook, and sugar. It so far hasn't been challenging at all, but day one rarely is. God told me this morning in the shower that this fast is going to be a lot about filtering. I'm filtering my physical body for one, by not consuming sugar. I'll be filtering my mind by eliminating the TV all together and Facebook (which is huge for me). And as a result, I'll be filtering my heart by spending time with my Father. Its interesting to me how God rearranges our lives when we let him. God changed my life this past summer, and it seems like since then, he's been rearranging things the way he wants them. Not to further my own agenda, but to further His Kingdom and His righteousness. As a steward of the Kingdom, I have a responsibility to make sure that God is having his way in me, and that I'm not living within my own means. Jesus is coming for a pure bride, not one who is pursuing her own wants. How are we making sure that happens?

I may update later, but for now I'm gonna go get some food and Jesus time.

Abby

Sleep, Please

I can't seem to fall asleep, so I thought it would be a good time to update....I guess it was what I meant to get posted earlier today, but I figured the other one should come first. It made sense in my head.

On Tuesday I'm starting a 40-day fast....TV, video games, movies, sugar, and Facebook. It may not seem huge, but put those things together and you basically have my boredom busters. I think I may go crazy, but at the same time I am very excited to see God work in my life over the next monthish. Strangely enough, I'm actually slightly (though not completely convinced yet) excited about getting those things out of my life for a bit. I think it will really help me focus on more important things....which is how life should be.

Anyway, all that to say that I will be using my online journal during my fast. I want to keep track of my progress and what God is doing, so I'll be using this along with my regular journal ;)

I've been thinking a lot about purity lately. And not like most people think about it.... I've been thinking about a pure heart. The bible has something to say about that, both in the old and new testaments, which I think is cool. Psalms 24 talks about who can ascend the mountain of the Lord, which to me represents his presence. Anyway, it says that if you have clean hands and a pure heart.....your heart represents your soul, which is your mind, will, and emotions. I find it interesting that God doesn't only require purity out of us, but he desires us to have a pure mind, pure will, and pure emotions. Wow! How many of us can say we are there?

Later in Matthew 5 (the Beatitudes) Jesus talks about the pure in heart seeing God....like, freaking yeah. Who doesn't want to go there? Seeing God is also a representation of his presence. So, I guess you could also say that I've been learning a lot about God's presence, too. Think about it. Where are we going to spend eternity? In the depths of the Father's presence.... its huge in the Kingdom. I don't know, its just like the shallow stuff isn't cuttin' it anymore. God looks at the heart first, and I so understand that. But there's something about coming together as a body with an understanding for how the King and his Kingdom function....and what the presence of God can be like. It totally changes the atmosphere of worship.

Ok, well I think I have everything said that I need to say :) maybe I can sleep now. Have a wonderful night/whenever you read this, and remember that God's heart for you is to know His love in your life!

Abby

Dreaming from North Carolina

This is a journal entry that I wrote on June 2nd, and admittedly is the only good journal entry I wrote all summer. The rest are quick scribbles in between meetings or camps :) I also appologize for not updating since....well, a while ago. Its been a crazy year.

Summer is busting into the mountains, encouraging the flowers to bloom and urging each person to welcome its presence. There is no doubt, I am. I believe I was inviting it long before it arrived. And with summer days peeking through the sunrise and still finding their way into cool, peaceful summer nights, my dear friend has shooed school away and left me with nothing to do. Two more weeks must come and go before camp arrives, and while I should be appreciating the long, peaceful days before the hustle and bustle, I am still aching for something to do. Currently, I am in the middle of my second of many boredom breaker books books to come. "Pride and Prejudice" by Jane Austen is my current reader, and I finished "Mary, Bloody Mary" in two days. That is, yesterday and the day before. I have also been reading "Face to Face With God" by Bill Johnson, but I wouldn't call that rich literature. The one (and maybe only) good thing about in-between times is that I have time to write, free of research and grammatical correctness, and I may read whatever I please- with no need to remember the tedious details for book reports. There is simply something about reading classical literature out of my own free will, rather than under the instruction of a teacher, that makes me appreciate it the way it should be appreciated.

You know those moments in life....the ones that you personally will never forget, but wish somehow you could share with the people you love and have them admire that frozen moment in time even half as much as you do?

Imagine nine acres, with a house in the middle and flowers blooming all across the field in the gardens, and along the fence line. Consider freshly cut grass, a tractor cutting down the long strands of hay in the field, and tomatoes creeping out of their vines in the garden. Bare feet, the comfort of shade under a tree, and birds carefreely (is that a word?) singing about their gladness that summer has arrived. I wish you could be here with me. My assumption is that if you're reading this, you are someone that I love dearly. And, as someone I love dearly, I want nothing less than to experience one of my most favorite things in life...."moments." I find that one of the most important things you can do is, take a few seconds....or minutes, or hours, when you find yourself in such a beautiful position, and live out that moment- don't take it for granted. Sit under a tree, light a candle, drink a cup of tea, laugh until you have tears in your eyes, plant a seed, pack a picnic.....basically anything that has qualifications to be on the back of a "Life Card" in The Game of Life. But, don't let times like these slip by you in vain. Life simply is much too full of sad, hard, and arduous times to not sit back and pause at the few events that make us smile. It surely is not that occurrences like these take us out of reality- they make us realize that life and reality aren't all horrid. In fact, they can be wonderful.